Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Pick Up Lines and How to Use Them to Make Flirting Sexual
Now, a lot of guys believe that pick up lines don't work. Well those guys at 100% wrong. Pick up lines do work and they will work as long as you know how to use them.
Now, I called these lines Naughty Banter. They are sexually-laced flirting lines and they are huge in getting the girl.
Naughty Banter lines like these are priceless:
You're such a dork.
You would.
You're such a girl.
All of those work amazingly towards any woman. You just use them as responses to a girl’s answer.
Example:
You: Have you ever watched Sex in The City?
Her: I love that show. I watch the DVDs all the time.
You: OMG! You're such a dork!
Now, this example is standard fare. It will spark attraction. And believe it or not, it is sexual in flavor. The fact that you are calling her a "dork" indicates that you and her have "chemistry," and that you are confident enough to call her that right at the moment of meeting her.
It implies that the two of you could have a sexual relationship in the future. (Like haven’t you joked with a woman you were having sex with just like this.)
Now, even in this example, there is a move towards well-established rapport, which implies comfortability—because it assumes rapport; and ONLY a man who is confident in himself and his own sexuality, would he dare such bold humor.
So, there is intent and leading which are alpha male traits.
Hence, there is some sexual sparks in calling a woman you just met a "dork." (By the way, if you started to do this with a woman you've been friends with and want to put it on a sexual level, it will do the job just as well!)
But, why not put it on super sexual turbo charge. Study this expanded example and its structure:
Let's revisit the above example:
You: Have you ever watched Sex in The City?
Her: I love that show. I watch the DVDs all the time.
You: OMG! You're such a dork!
You: You're trouble. I need to keep my eyes on you.
See, just that one added naughty banter line puts it way on a sexual level.
You could even add a killer ingredient by adding a simple "cold read”:
You: Have you ever watched Sex in the City?
Her: I love that show. I watch the DVDs all the time.
You: OMG! You're such a dork!
You: You're trouble. I need to keep my eyes on you.
You: I can tell you were a handful with your last boyfriend!
See what a few well placed lines can move the interaction with a woman onto a sexual level just from a couple of lines. Also, the cold read moves the conversation even further towards a sexual level without you coming off as a creep.
I’ve always hated it when I was totally clueless to attracting women and didn't know how to make an otherwise (sexually) neuter interaction with a woman towards a sexual trajectory. Often times, it would end with a handshake and a "It was nice meeting you Mrs. Cuttingham."
I HATED THAT!
Boy, my life would have been so much different if I would have known what I know today!
--Kurgan
PS More on cold reads later!
Monday, March 29, 2010
The Secret to Creating Overwhelming Attraction by Controlling the Interaction through Dominance
In order to get the girl, you must dominate the interaction you have with the woman. Your masculine strength as a man should overwrite her feminine power.
It’s like the battle of the sexes: If you are a man, you shouldn’t take her shit. If you are scared of her because of her beauty and sexuality, you might as well fart in front of her and pick your nose, because that will give you a better chance than doing these things: “tip-toe” around her, give into her demands and insults, apologizing to her if she says shit like this: “buy me a drink,” Why are you talking to me,” “I have a boyfriend.” You know what I mean, right.
Your beliefs about your right as a masculine male to be attracted to a woman without apologies defines the meaning of any social interaction you will have with her, especially when you start to engage a new conversation with a woman you are attracted to.
Hence you have to ask yourself this question: are you pursuing her or is she hitting on you? What is your perception? Just remember this—the person with the stronger reality will swallow the weaker person’s reality.
When I got good, I always believed that the woman was hitting on me. I would always say things like this:
• Stop! You are aggressive—Well, I’m not that easy so slow down turbo.
• You’re trouble—I need to keep my eyes on you.
• I swear . . .all you women think only of one thing.
• Geeze are you always this aggressive. I just met you.
• I’ll be the judge of that!
Make the woman believe that you believe that she is hitting on you. Be condescending, but in a playful way!
For you, the ability to dominate the interaction (making her think you are better than her), the meaning of the social interaction itself, and the victory thereof, is the key to getting the girl.
Your dominance has to be rock solid, otherwise you will be the barrage of wimps begging to go out with that hot girl.
Here’s a girl’s feminine power and what it says and means: A woman’s feminine power is that you are pursuing her because she has higher value to the degree of her beauty and her offer of sex.
Don’t fall for that! Be better than her! A woman will not like a guy that likes himself less than her!!!
You have to invert that feminine power with you manhood, otherwise, you are as common as “sand.”
--Kurgan
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Care Enough About How You Present Yourself
I am not talking about fashion or style here. I am just talking about how you present yourself. How you present yourself says loads about who you are and how much you care about yourself.
You need to maintain the following at all times. I know this list seems obvious, but a ton of guys I have seen in the "field” are not taking care of the obvious. You need to be mindful of these things even if you are not going out to meet women.
1. Clip your nails short all the time. Keep them short and clean.
2. Clip your facial hair--keep them under control: nose, ears, and eyebrow hairs.
3. Shower every day.
4. Deodorant: duh.
5. Brush and floss teeth as much as possible.
6. Have breath mints with you at all times
7. Get a cool haircut!
A woman will paint a story about who you are and what your life must be like based on these things. Be mindful of this and keep your basic hygiene under control at all times. Don’t let your hygiene count against you; they are simple things to take care of, but are profound.
- Kurgan
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Getting Blown Out! Want It--It Will Just Make You Stronger!
Getting blown out is going up to a woman or a group of women and then having them basically you’re your verbally or nonverbally to "get lost."
I can remember once, I teased this girl at a bar, and she was a total harpy, telling me this: "You're ugly; how dare you talk to me." Can you believe that; and she was a 4 in looks on top of it. Amazing. Today, if that happened--I wouldn't care at all, but back then about 6 years ago, it crushed my self-esteem for about 3 days.
Another time, I was at a bar and I was trying to perfect my "naughty banter" teasing lies, and I was too harsh. I actually came off as an asshole.
I said to 3 hot girls at the bar, "Hey, those are cool shoes . . .do they come in woman sizes? No, really that's a cool outfit--it's amazing what they sell at the Salvation Army these days!" They got so pissed at me, they threw their drinks in my face. I felt like the biggest loser. I just left the bar in total embarrassment.
I'm laughing my ass off right now thinking about it. But, at the time when it happened, it felt terrible.
But, the point here is that in order to get good with women and to get an attitude that you are better than the girl, you actually have to go through this and to be able to face social pressure. If you are able to do that, women will know that you have social power.
Remember, the person that reacts the least in any social interaction has all of the social power! Having the ability to be unflappable under any social situation requires the ability to withstand social pressure, and the only way to get to that point is to get experience GOOD or BAD from approaching and interacting with women in the social environment.
And if you get blown out really bad, know in your heart that when you get good with women, soon, you will be like me now laughing at all the times you got blown out, but at the same time, you will be grateful that all of those times made you a stronger person which gave you the social power to attract women.
--Kurgan
The Opener
Opening a woman can be such a pain. Once, I was at a bookstore, and I wanted to hit on this one girl. I wanted to start a conversation with her and kinda followed her around the store, but I was agonizing over what to say to her for over 30 minutes! I probably was a creepy stalker to her. I just should have said anything to her, but I didn't.
I remember once a long time ago, I won tickets to a concert and had to pick up the tickets in a nearby city. When I was in the parking lot, I passed a super cute woman who looked at me and smiled. She was so hot that it hurt me; I could have married the woman. Guess what I did when she smiled at me? NOTHING! To this day, I regret not saying anything to her. I know she wanted to talk to me and that she was interested.
What do you do in this situation? Well, the easiest way to start a conversation is to just say, "Hi!" With a smile. Then, "Hey you're kinda cute--What's your story!" Or, "Hey, you seem cool . . . Are you friendly?" That's it!
Geeze, I wish I had a time machine! I wish I knew what I know now! She would have been a cool wife!
--Viktor Kurgan
Friday, March 19, 2010
Meeting Yourself: Being Comfortable With You
Now, a lot of guys always ask me, "how do I do that?" Well, I wrote a post about "getting to know yourself." But, another way is to be comfortable with yourself and especially with yourself around women.
Now, how do you do that? Well, it's easy. Hang out with women, hot women.
You need to befriend hot women as friends. I would say that you should make friends with at least two to three women. Don't try to have sex with them, just be their friend.
A lot of times, you would approach a woman and ask her out on a date. If you are approaching enough women every day, inevitably, you will get the "Let's be friends" spiel. TAKE THEM UP ON IT!
Make them your friends. Take the effort to be their friends and keep it on a platonic level. What this does mean for you is that you can become comfortable around women. Too, more importantly, you can get a woman's perspective on relationships, sex, and dating.
This will be worth more than reading any course on pick up or dating.
Now, I'm going to give you a caveat here. Take their advice with "a grain of salt."
Women, you will notice if you hang out with them, are very competitive. So, sometimes they will give you not so good advice because, on some level, they want to have the upper hand, even if you are friends with them. That's why I said to make friends with at least 3 girls. That way, you will get different perspectives from them.
Too, you will notice with what ease women talk about sex! It's amazing.
I have had and have over 5 girlfriends, i.e., girls that are just platonic friends. I've been lucky, in that, I was always able to make friends with women. You have to learn this skill too. I've met my friends from various places: college classes, work, and friends of friends. Those are just some examples.
Hence, it is invaluable to become a woman's friend.
If you think this is not important, you will be alone. This is huge. Remember, if you see a fork in the road, take it!
--The Kurgan
Thursday, March 18, 2010
How To Dissipate A Woman's Sexual Power And Even The Playing Field
Don't you hate that! How would you like to pop that bubble that she purposely created, even the playing field, call her out on her displaying her sexuality, and cause her to become attracted to you? I know how. Hehehe!
Well this blog post will give you just that!
I was driving by this woman who was getting into her car; she was cute--and she had a ton of sexuality. She was wearing a low cut pants that showed her tattoo below the small of her back.
Now, if you think about it, she is wearing that low cut pants so that guys will give her attention. It gives her confirmation that she is sexual and that she has power. It gives her validation that she is a woman that is viral, sexually. At, the same, if you're a creepy loser, that's the attention she doesn't want, and that is when you are a drooling pervert.
I know, I know. Guys that don't get this stuff will say, "Why does a woman dress sexy, and then when they get the attention that their sexiness will get-- they get mad and put off. Well there are "good attention" and "bad attention" from guys that a woman wants.
Bad attention is like this:
1. Whistling to a woman walking by.
2. Saying "Hey baby."
3. Creepy stare. (Most guys don't know that they give women a creepy stare.)
Get it.
Good Attention:
1. OMG! You look great--you're bad! You know stop being so sexy. I'm an innocent church boy! Bad girl!
2. You're a fashion whore aren't you. I can tell: you're like a cute little Carrie Bradshaw. You're such a dork!
3. Wow! You're aggressive. You know, I'm actually not that easy!
Tease them. Call them out on what they are doing and make fun of them in a fun a playful way.
What you are showing them is that sex and sexuality is not a big deal and that you are sexually intelligent by understanding their "womanese."
What you are basically saying is this:
I'm a sexual man that understand women. I appreciate your sexuality and I am not judgmental. You are sexually attractive. If you get together with me, I won't make it a big deal--from there we can take it to the next level!
This works especially well online like sites like match.com. Do this right, and you will even the value field and from there, get the girl!
--The Kurgan
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
You Are Better Than Her
Now, here’s the secret: no matter how beautiful she is, the more you should not care whether you get together with her or not; if you can do this, she will be yours. This mental state should be in place when you go on a “date” too.
It’s like if you went to a club and you opened 3 groups of women and all three times, they told you to “get lost!” If you went home that night and didn’t care about it, you’re the guy that will eventually get a girl to come home. If you went home and thought you were a loser, than that’s the very thing that all women don’t find attractive about you.
It’s a weird thing in life, but so profound: The more you care about you, the more people will notice and like you. Now, I’m not saying that you should be delusional: no. But, if you love yourself enough, to the point where you really do care about you, and you show this in your actions and behaviors around women, they will notice and be attracted to you.
So, here are a couple of things: If you don’t like yourself enough, who will? Moreover, this brings about such an important element to attracting women: The relationship you have with a woman is not really a relationship with her—rather, it is ultimately the relationship you have with yourself, first and foremost.
So, a lot of my students always ask me “how do I get this?”
Well, the simple thing to do is what I always say to do: Meet yourself! Introduce you to you!
How do you do this? Well here are some simple steps to take, so that you can make you more important:
1. Write a list of 20 things that you like to do and what is important to you. Anything. Examples are these: traveling, meeting new people, baseball, chess, literature, family, and so on.
2. Now, give a reason why you like each thing. Remember to go back in your life and explain the first time and so on.
a. Example: I love to travel because I want adventure and excitement. My mother always said to travel and meet new people. I want to meet new women in my travels because I saw a movie about travel when I was 13 years old.
3. What you are doing is creating your preferences, which will give your personality dimension. The more you learn about who you are, the easier it is to build your lifestyle.
4. Lifestyle: based on what you wrote about your preferences, start building you life around that list. 99% of guys have boring lives. A woman will not be into a life where you drink and play poker every week with your buddies. Create an exciting life based on the passions you have for things in your life. If you focus and make the things you are into a priority by taking action, they become will become extremely important to you, and help define who you are. Meeting yourself if you will. So much so, your life will become more important that any new woman you meet.
5. A boring life for a guy translates into desperation. In that case, a woman becomes an antidote for the boring life. That’s when guys become too outcome dependant or needy on a date or meeting women at a club, party or bar. Make your life more exciting than just one woman!
6. If you don’t have an exciting life that a woman would want to share in—do something about it and take action! Make an exciting life and have a lifestyle!
7. And if you make your list and go for it, you will be well on your way.
--Kurgan
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Pet Names
Now, I would pick one that you can always use; the same one, over and over and over. Women totally love it when you give them a pet name. It's one of those weird things that women love, but to us guys, it's like "hey, that just doesn't make sense." Who cares; it works!
What I have found is that whatever worked on the playground when you were a little kid, works really well with women when you are an adult. It's all part of the playful, teasing demeanor you should always have anyway, especially, when you first meet some her for the first time.
If you don't tease a woman right away, you'll end up shaking her hand with a "Nice to meet you Mrs. Smith." And you will only go home with your hand. So, when you tease her with a pet name, right away, it puts it on a sexual level right from the first few seconds.
It's part of what I call Naught Banter. So, pick a pet name for the women you are attracted to. You may be thinking what are these super secret pet names?
Well, here you are: Dork, brat, or bratty little sister.
My favorite is dork! When you meet a woman, call her a "dork."
How? Easy. Whatever she answers you, call her a dork. Here are some examples:
Do you ever watch Sex In The City? OMG, you are such a dork.
You're a fashion whore aren't you? You're such a dork!
I can tell, under all of that make up and clothes dwells a super dork!
Get it.
--Kurgan
The Brass Tax: Read This Important Post: You’re OK!
Whatever your situation is, I’m here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you, and you have every right to want to date beautiful young women and eventually find love no matter what.
I think that in order to find love you must date women, work on your personality, and develop a cool lifestyle.
If you want to date beautiful women, and you don’t know what to do, or you’ve tried to “game” women, but they tell you to get “lost,” don’t worry, it’s doesn’t have to be that way anymore!
There are social interactions that can be engineered and manipulated to your advantage. I am going to teach you how you can get the girl of your dreams or whatever you want in a relationship with a smoking hot woman.
There is nothing like knowing you can get that hot girl where ever you are, and beat out those other guys! I do this all the time. It’s a wonderful to know that you have choice with young women.
You don’t have to take “crap” from women either, who are like Miranda from Sex And The City: The Movie. Don’t be a Steve! Don’t settle for less, just because you think you have no sexual power because of you looks, age, money, or whatever.
I know what kind of games women play with men like us, and how they “tool” you. Yuck. Well, their day has come and gone. It’s our turn now!
Today, I can almost get any girl I want. I can meet, attract, and date at will. In fact, I can go to any city and can get together with almost any girl I meet, whether it’s in the streets, mall, bookstore, club, or bar! This is important here, that is, this type of thinking. You have to have the ability to walk away from a girl you just me or it will be over really quick. More on this later.
How did I get to this point? Well, first, I just wanted to get success with girls no matter what. I had a lot of success in my life regarding academics, careers, and the like. But I just couldn’t get this “dating thing” or this “relationship” mastered. So, I just made a decision to get good with women. It was the last thing to conquer in my life. Being good with women was like Star Trek’s final frontier: The great unknown of the universe that even Mr. Spock couldn’t figure out–women.
Hence with that decision, I went out into the “social milieu” and just started to approach girls. I went out and tried all kinds of crazy “lines,” and found out what worked and what didn’t. Through trial and error, in field, for over 5 years, I started to get good, and I started to see patterns in my exchanges with girls.
It wasn’t all good. Like I said, I had drinks thrown in my face; I had women tell me I was “ugly;” I had girls tell me I was “jerk,” and so on. But, I was always willing to try anything and step out of my comfort zone. If anything, I reasoned, I would learn from my interactions good or bad. . . . And, guess what? I started to figure it all out. Over time, I became good, really good with women. When you get to this point, you actually will find the women that you will want to marry. And, when that happens, you will have found love.
By the way, if women say mean things to you, just know, like war wounds years after the fact, the bad experience will make you laugh and make you stronger. You will brag to people what “disasters” happened when you started out and you will actually look at the “blow outs” rather fondly. So, if you get “blown out’ by a girl, or a date goes sour, don’t let it affect the way you view yourself. You will get good over time. You are a man of high worth!
Also, I was extremely lucky to have friends that were really good with women, and they taught me a huge amount of what now I know. I’m talking about guys that can get anywhere from 3 to 8 girls a month if they want. I know it sounds crazy but I’ve seen it myself with my own eyes.
Let me tell you, though: I had to basically go through a “meat grinder” before I finally “got it” with young girls. It’ pretty hard to “game” girls if you don’t know what you’re doing. Fortunately for you, you found me, and I can teach you how to “game” girls to your extreme advantage.
I have to say something here though that you really need to know. I will talk in greater detail about this subject, but your beliefs are probably the most important factor in finding the right women to love. You need to know this.
You really need to believe the fact that you are a high worth man that has a lot to offer a young girl. This is vital. You must show confidence that you are high value all the time. And, the way you do that is to act and behave like you are a confident mature man.
The way you do this is to believe it—because it’s true. You must internalize this feeling of belief, even if you don’t believe it yet! This is the difference between getting the girl or staying alone at home with only internet porn to keep you company.
Of course that’s easier said than done, right? Good enough. I will teach you how to be confident in this blog, so you can get the on a date and take it from there.
You Don’t Need A Full Head Of Hair.
The good new is that you don’t need super good looks to attract hot women to you. All of these things really are not a “make or break” situation for you: looks, height, age, hair, money, and so on do not matter as much as you would think. Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t matter, but if you do what I say in this blog, you will still get the girl even if you don’t have looks, hair and the like.
It’s actually the mental states and beliefs that you project from your mind outwards that matter the most. If you project a negative belief that you are too old or ugly or something, then your behavior will projects this; it will come across in your body language, voice tone, and over all demeanor. This will cause you to repel women.
I know this sounds hard to believe, but it’s true. Here’s an unbelievable secret that 99% of men just don’t understand and this fact alone is worth any dating book or whatever “guru” is telling you. And, if you don’t believe me, ask any woman that’s near by and ask if this is true:
A woman’s social value comes from the outside in; by contrast, a man’s value comes from the inside out.
Wow! Isn’t that amazing. We men go for looks first in a woman; a woman looks at your personality as the tipping point of whether or not they are becoming attracted to you. In a way, men/women are opposites.
Are you starting to see why looks are not as big of a factor as we men would believe? The sad thing is that guys get low self-esteem because of their lack of hair, lack of money, or lack of looks. It should not be this way. We need to work on our personalities!!! That’s the ticket.
Our personalities are fueled by our beliefs about ourselves. The reality is that it is the belief in these beliefs that are causing you to have the negative thoughts, which creates a “lack of confidence” vibe that woman can detect and will hate.
But, now, you can love yourself, and be the man that you’ve always wanted to be!
See, men think that women think like them. Most men think women base the value of the man on their looks and money only. That’s simply not true. Women base the value of the man based on their personality first and foremost.
Yes, if Bill Gates wanted a new wife, all the hot women would contradict what I just said. He has $48 billion dollars. Nevertheless, most women in the world find attractive a man’s personality. Now, you have to have potential, or at least convey that to a women subtlety, then you will still get the girl.
That means you can now have the confidence to be yourself and know that you, as a mature man, can virtually get any 18+ girl that you want! You just have to work on your confidence and over all personality!
Aren’t you glad you are reading my blog!
What’s even better here is that all the things you need to get the girl to date are already inside you right now!
You already have everything to get the girl. You are complete here in every dimension. I am just going to show you the great things about yourself that you can’t see right now that you are already in possession NOW!
You can do it. The ability is already IN YOU NOW.
One last thing: while height, ethnicity, economic status is not an impediment to your cause, just know that you will just have to be better in communicating all the things I am teaching you in this blog. That’s all.
So, if you’re 5’4’’, you can get that girl of your dreams, but you are going to have to have a stronger reality, more fun personality, make a deeper connection than a guy that’s 6’4.’’ Not rocket science to be sure, but a bit more work. Keep that in mind. Ok.
Read this post again if you have to, because it is big!
–Kurgan
The Point To The Archer Story!
The Young man was already a great bowman when he first asked the Zen Master. The Zen master didn’t make him great, he already had it within him from the very beginning. He also wanted it so bad, that he focused on it until he became the best. He never gave up.
Similarly, you are already a cool guy that can get any girl and find love and happiness, regardless of your looks, wealth, or full head of hair. You just haven’t realized it yet.
Like the story of the Archer you just read, the Zen Master just showed Musashi what was already in him before he even ever wanted to become a great archer: to be a champion!
Similarly, I am doing the same: you are already powerful with women; you can find the happiness you seek, as it is already there in you! The key here to realize is that you only need the courage to make a decision to activate it:–there is nothing wrong with you and that you deserve to have a beautiful, loving women in your life.
It’s just that nobody maybe told you this. It’s a weird thing actually: we guys need to be validated from outside sources for many different reasons. It’s based on a need that fuels our confidence as men. The problem is that women aren’t attracted to men who need external validation. You have to love yourself or it’s over before you speak to an attractive women.
Our flaws are 1000 times more magnified by us becasue we see them a lot more becasue we are us. The irony is that most people don’t see them. The killer deal here is that you can make your flaws, whether physical or mental into an atttractive thing . . . super easy! I will show you this later in this blog! So much to cover!!!!
Anyways: onwwards:
I am going to make a brief confession here: I have worked for the largest dating company in the world, and I have actually helped a lot of guys over a 3 year period. And, the one thing that I have noticed in my own journey and observation of guys wanting to get good with all this is this:
In order to date ANY beautiful women and to keep her in a relationship with you to marriage, you have to, what I call, “meet yourself” for the first time in your life.
Further:
The quality of women that you will attract is directly proportionate to the self-love and understanding of who you are and your place in the world!
So, my job in this blog is just for you to see yourself as a cool guy that I ALREADY can SEE IN YOU. (Even if I don’t know you . . .yet.)
And, all the stuff I’m having you do for you in this blog is just for you to realize that you are already cool; when you see that:
THE WOMEN WILL TOO, AND THAT’S GOING TO MAKE YOU VERY VERY ATTRACTIVE TO THEM.
That’s why girls always say to just be “yourself.” Well, that’s half right. We as guys know that “being yourself” doesn’t really work. However, what women really mean is for you to be a confident, fun, playful, leading man; be the best you. Don’t hide “you.”
That’s what “wimps” or beta males can’t see when they become supplicants to women and they kiss women’s asses. They are so egocentric in their self-pity, they think that reflecting to girls their insecure selves is authentic: but, it’s their insecure selves that girls hate. (More on masculane strength later, which is huge.)
That’s why girls are so mean to weak guys. They hate to see that weakness in the wimp; it makes them sick. So, they become “bitches” to that type of guy. Moreover, if you’re over 40 and are going for 25 year olds, she will tear you apart if you ever show weakness. Women hate weakness in men.
Remember, no matter how many girls you are attracted to and engage, and it doen’t go your way, think to yourself that you are not wasting your time because you will get better with experience. These interactions should just be looked at as practice. That’s it. Never quit.
In other words, don’t get attached to the results you get when you are out in the social environment.
Don’t do that. You will quit like a lot of guys do, because they are outcome dependant. DO NOT DO THAT. Rather, focus on attaining the skill to create attraction and intrugue in women and by working on your confidence and personality.
–Kurgan
Want To Go Up 1+ Full Point On The Looks Scale With Women!? Duh. Hygiene.
Hygiene is a big, big deal. Do not fail in this or you will regret it. Take care of yourself for god’s sake. Take pride in yourself—love yourself. Believe in yourself. A girl will notice it if you don’t—just by what you are wearing, what your hygiene is like, and how you are put together.
Go up 1 whole point on the looks scale just by taking care of the following:
1. Clip your nails. No dirty nails, period. Do you think a “10” is going to let you touch her down there with dirty nails . . . try again.
2. Take showers before you go out and interact with women or when you go out on a “date” with them. Duh. Get a good cologne, as well. I call this the pre-approach.
3. Get a cool haircut. Get GQ Magazine, Esquire, or Maxim. Take the picture of the hairstyle you like to a hairstylist. Or just ask the hair stylist for advise. If you’re getting bald or are bald, shave your head.
· Moreover, if you’re bald, be like John-Luc Piccard from Star Trek: The Next Generation. He was a heartthrob because he focused on his confidence. Look, I’ll tell you a secret to baldness:–Never talk about it in an insecure way. If you ask a girl, “Can you see my bald spot?” You have just made that bald spot the size of the Black Sea because you just showed the number one weakness girls hate: insecurity.
· Don’t ever make any apologies for your baldness or anything about yourself EVER! Love yourself. If a girl says something about your hair, tell them this: “So, why do you like guys with bald hair?” Or “OMG! You’re attracted to me!” And just continue on with what you where talking about. P.S. No comb-overs. Gross. Shave it.
4. Wash your hair: no greasy hair.
5. No nose hairs sticking out. Mega gross. Clip them. You can get a cool grooming kit from Walgreens or Rite Aid for $20 bucks. No unibrow either. Get your eyebrows waxed by a professional.
6. Clean matching socks and clean and polished shoes (more on shoes: it’s that important) Black shoes, black socks.
7. Get a good deodorant. Wear it always. No bad odors, period. If you do, it will kill your game.
8. Keep your teeth clean: floss and brush your teeth. I know this one guy I work with. He’s good looking, but he always has gross dirty teeth and all the girls tell me how gross he is because of his dirty teeth. Don’t do that. Also, keep breath mints in your pocket at all times.
9. You don’t know when you are going to run into your next girlfriend. There are breath strips I buy at the grocery store or “eclipse” gum. I teach for the largest pick up company in the world and the students would go into the “field” and approach girls with super bad breath. Then, they would wonder why girls do the “back-turn” maneuver on them. Don’t do that. Keep gum in your pocket, always.
10. Have your teeth whitened. Get strips or get them done at the dentist. I got mine done at my dentist for $200. That’s not going to kill you. If you don’t have the money, get strips to whiten your teeth.
· If you look at evolution, humans 100s of thousands of years ago were running around in bands of like 50 to 100 people. During that time, when the elderly members of that “troop” were old and sick, a family member had to chew the food for the sick or elderly and then had to transfer the food from month to month. That’s why humans instinctively put so much emphasis on kissing as a show of affection. The point to this is that people notice your teeth. Do the best you can. My teeth are crooked. So, food and stuff get caught in them after I eat. So, I always have to brush and stuff. You need to do the same.
11. Go to the gym at least 4 to 5 times a week. (Check with a doctor first if you haven’t worked out in a while.) This is huge. If you are out of shape, get into shape. I run 3 miles 5 to 6 times a week. I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. Guess what? I look younger than guys 10 years younger than me.
12. Look, think about this: if you can’t take care of yourself, do you think a hot 21-year old wants to take care of you for you? No way. She is at the height of her sexual power. Why would she fall for a guy that is overweight and looks like a reject from the 1970s.
13. Don’t be de-selected by women and a loser among men. Keep you body in good shape. Now, you don’t have to look like you’re a 20 year old with ripped abs, but get in decent shape. I know it’s hard, but it’s only as hard as you think it is. If you try, and give up, you have already made the decision to fail. You can do it. I know you can. Get in to good shape.
Try these NOW and you will improve you chances with women 100%. Now here’s the default situation: do these things 100% of the time—always, period!
–Kurgan
Fashion And Style: A Critical Understanding
OK, here’s the deal. I have a huge background in Anthropology. My primary emphasis is nonverbal human communication. Know that 93% of human communication is nonverbal. 50% is body language and “other,” 43 is voice tone. Words are only 7%.
Fashion goes under the domain of nonverbal. It’s actually called Object Communication. Here’s a definition:
The type of clothing or even the hairstyle that you wear are often used by people, both consciously and unconsciously, especially by women, to determine your personality and value as a person.
So, there is an actual scientific explanation why women are into fashion. It helps identify if you are socially intelligent. If you are, you have a higher degree of survival, because you can move up the social ladder.
Women want a “winner,” not a “loser.” Think about the “socially retarded” people you grew up with. A lot of those guys weren’t with girlfriends. They had their Magic Cards or D&D to keep them from getting lonely. It’s sad. I can relate. I used to be those guys, and they were all fashion geeks.
So, take fashion serious please.
More later.
–Kurgan
Styles And Fashion: Continued!
Now, I’m not saying that you necessarily have to have your life 100% together (although that should be your goal). You can, as my friend who is amazing with women says, “fake it until you make it.”
But, women are masters at reading guys that don’t have social intelligence, and fashion is something women focus on and obsess with: they will read you before you open your mouth and have made all kinds of assumptions about you. So, be the best you can be.
Don’t have the “old-man” look. A sport-shirt from K-Mart or CostCo. with Dockers will not get you the girl of your dreams, unless you have an awesome personality. While you work on your innerpsychology, why not stack your style in your favor? I’m just being honest.
You have to show them that you “get it.” That you will offer them more than what they already have in their lives that is more exciting than them.
If you don’t, they will make you pay, both emotionally, and socially. They will think, “Why did I just waste my time with this loser.”
Now, I’m not saying that you are a loser, but you have to really look at what you offer a high quality woman.
Just go into your wardrobe and take an inventory of what you have. Then, go to a Barnes and Nobles and go to the Mag. Section and look at the latest GQ, Maxim, and Playboy magazine. Think about how you are creating a style from your fashion and see if it’s up to speed.
I’ll bet you $100 that it’s not. That’s ok we are going to learn this together.
–Kurgan
The Style You Want To Emulate
Let me tell you a brief story here. I am a teacher and I had a student that always talked when I lectured. She was very annoying. Well, one day, I got mad at her, but some how we started to talk about fashion.
Back then I a throw back from the Eighties from the “gothic” scene. Well, I would always were black: black top, black pants, black shoes. I thought it was cool, because that was the look that was cool . . . like 15 years ago!
Duh! Well, I told her give me an assessment of my outfit and what she told me shocked me. She said that my black shirt and pants were different color black. One was more faded than the other and that the shade of black was different because they were from different companies. Too, she said that my shoes were thrashed and that I should get new ones. She also said that I should get my haircut into a Faux Hawk.
Wow. She did that in a minute. I was so shocked that I almost fell over. Well, this is from a high school student and she was so socially intelligent that it was unbelievable. Girls and women are 1000 times more smart than we guys when it comes to things that have to do with the social!
Anyway, onwards.
As of this writing, the most “money” jeans I now buy are called True Religions. I have 12 pairs. They cost anywhere from $244 to $300+ a pair. Guess how much I pay for my “badboys” per pair: $69 to $79 dollars at the True Religion Outlet Store!!! That’s like $20 more than new Levis. This is what you have to do. Get it cheap! Buy stuff when it goes on sale.
If your funds are limited, find out your sizes in everything and buy the stuff off of ebay. I was just on there last night and I saw a ton of stuff, designer things on there for pennies on the dollar.
Also, if you are totally hurting in the cash dept. just get one really good outfit and wear that out when you game girls. It’s better to have one or two awesome outfits than 5 cheesy ones.
What I want you to do is ask women in your life, like women you work with, go to school with, your sister or whomever and ask them where there are good outlet stores for brand name designer stuff. Better yet ask them to come with you and have them help you pick out some cool clothes.
When you go, take the magazine pics which reflex the style you want (yesterday’s assignment.) Go there and by some new clothe. Now, only get one outfit. Well, if you can’t get a woman to go with you, email me a picture of your current “look” and I will give you advise as time allows.
Yes, yes, yes . . . I’m too nice. But hey, I want you to have the same happiness I have with my super hot new bride. My e-mail: kurganpua@gmail.com.
–Kurgan
A Story From Europe
Objectively, if we had a scale of 1 thru 10, the guy’s looks value (not value as a human being) was probably a 6.5. In other words, the bottom line here is that objectively he wasn’t that goods looking–physically.
But because he was so well put together, that is, his clothes were well thought out, he looked like a “model.” What I am talking about here is his style through fashion; because of his fashion and style, he was an 8.5+. He just had an “air” of a person that was well put together because he cared about himself.
Now, I don’t care if you are not objectively good looking because you have bad skin, bald, overweight, and so on. You can look like a million bucks without spending a ton of money. Just have things that are thought out. If you do that, a woman whatever age will notice you right away. That’s the ticket here. We are trying to get under control the things that we can control. Fashion and style is one of it. Get it.
–Kurgan
Cool Shirts
Generally speaking, the cool shirts usually are the more expensive. Why? Because, if you go to an upscale store and look at the shirts and jeans and stuff, you’ll notice that the more expensive stuff has more detail in them. In other words, the more some poor guy toiled on the shirt, the more expensive it is.
Why is this important? The more labor that went into a shirt, the more money you spent on the shirt. That means that you have money and that means in an evolutionary sense, if she aligns herself to you, both she and her offspring’s have a higher degree of survival.
I know that sounds crazy, but don’t be foolish here: if you want to be successful with women, you have to understand the signals both you and women give off in this “mating game.” This may sound crazy but it’s true.
A lot of women understand all of this on a subconscious level.
That’s why girls notice these little differences in every thing.
They totally have an eye for this type of stuff. They look very closely at the detail in your outfit because it tell a story about you. If you wear a grungy shirt with oversized jeans with stupid tennis shoes with white gym socks and you walk up to a 10, she will not be interested in you.
Now, I’m not saying it’s everything. But, you would have to be the greatest guy personality wise in the world. Women are very forgiving, but first impressions are super important.
Anyway, when I go out to game and I am wearing an outfit that is detailed–I get opened by women at bars/clubs, parties or events. I can’t stress fashion and style enough.
So, get cool shirts.
As of this writing, button up shirts from Kenneth Cole are cool. Shirts from Nordstrom’s Young Men’s are too. Usually, you can find the cool shirts from the more upscale stores.
If you can’t afford it, try Nordstrom Rack or other “outlet” stores for brand names cheap. You can buy cool shirts that are T-shirts, but have intricate designs. They usually cost anywhere from $50 to $80.
I just went to Nordstrom Rack and found a shirt from “Affliction” and I had seen it in an upscale store for over $75. I got it there 6 month later for $25. Don’t make price an excuse. Look good and stack everything in your favor: the things you can control!
–Kurgan
Get Fashion Advice!
Now, some further fashion advice here. Take your sister or girlfriend (a girl that’s just a friend) when you go shopping. They have an incredible eye for stuff like this. It’s really amazing. They can help you in this domain. Women you’ve known all your life will show you a side of them that you never knew existed. It’s awesome.
Women are so much more socially intelligent than men. It’s just a fact. Think about it: it saved them in primitive environments to be able to read social codes that are not overtly communicated. Amazing.
If you are completely girl-less, department stores have “personal shoppers.” They are basically fashion consultants. Use them if you have to. It will make a huge difference.
Remember the rule of thumb here: If it took a long time to make the shirt or whatever and it looks good on you . . . get it.
Now, some further fashion advice here. Take your sister or girlfriend (a girl that’s just a friend) when you go shopping. They have an incredible eye for stuff like this. It’s really amazing. They can help you in this domain. Women you’ve known all your life will show you a side of them that you never knew existed. It’s awesome.
Women are so much more socially intelligent than men. It’s just a fact. Think about it: it saved them in primitive environments to be able to read social codes that are not overtly communicated. Amazing.
If you are completely girl-less, department stores have “personal shoppers.” They are basically fashion consultants. Use them if you have to. It will make a huge difference.
–Kurgan
The Best Look Ever: The Intellectual Look
Having said that, if you are adamant on not working on fashion but want to try something simple but powerful then follow this one alternative advise diligently, than the it will work. Again, if you don’t want to have a cool “edge” to your style, then, at least, get the style of Harrison Ford in the movie Sabrina.
It’s a cool look with a nice suit (vary the colors though), navy blue pinstripe with a button down white oxford shirt without a tie (although you could wear one) with button down suspenders with Allan Edmonds shoes. This look would cost money in the beginning. But if you stay with conservative outfits and shoes, the look can be worn for literally years if not decades. If you are interested in this look, read Class: A Guide Through the American Status System by Paul Fussell. I’m going to talk about this book later by the way.
Pay attention to the section on the aristocracy and how they all dress. They all wear simple conservative outfits that all look the same and that their look never changes. There’s a cultural code here you have to understand. It’s something that women know intuitively. Antway, if I were to do this, I would buy at least 8 suits, 10 dress shirts, and at least five shoes, and the shoes I would just have 5 of the same style: wing tip oxfords.
Get wooden shoe trees that are made out of cedar. You sweat a quart of sweat in a day in your shoes. You need to alternate them every day and let them dry after each time you wear them in shoe trees. Cedar absorbs sweat and the shoes will dry strait so that your expensive shoes won’t bend over time. Anyway, that is a cool style and Harrison was really cool and he got the young girl. See, we as men have a huge advantage over women at any age with a little bit of old style fashion.
–Kurgan
Stop Dreaming And Start Attracting Beautiful Women In 10 Minutes Or Less!
Ok. This is big here. You are going to have to develop a fun and adventurous life style. If you do this one thing, again, you will get young and exciting girls falling like crazy into your life.
If you are a welder and you go home after work and go through the drive through at Taco Bell and go to the local liquor store, getting a 40-Ouncer and end up watching Operation Dumbo Drop on your TV, girls will not go out with you.
That’s what a loser would do. Do not do that.
Why would a young women waste her time going out with a loser like that if she can go out with a another guy that has a life-style that will give her excitement and adventure.
Think carefully here.
I’m sure if you do the above, you are a caring “nice guy.” But girls, especially hot girls, will think you are a loser.
As a matter of fact, do NOT DO THE FOLLOWING (or ever tell a date these things):
1. Still live with your parents.
2. A Mama’s boy
3. Are insecure.
4. Hate your parents or any loved ones.
5. Have hang-ups about sex in anyway.
6. Hate people.
7. Have no confidence.
8. Are passive aggressive.
9. Hate your job or boss.
10. Not have a life.
11. Have no car (unless you live in San Fran. or New York).
12. Feel sad because you are 40+ and don’t have a girlfriend.
13. Wish you weren’t a virgin.
Any one of these are death to any romantic prospects you had with a women you want to pursue.
You could be a welder in the daytime, just to pay the bills, but you could be a rock climber with passion for rock climbing on your off time.
You can be a lawyer but a mountain biker.
A teacher, but a passionate writer: writing the next great American Novel.
A dentist that’s a race car driver.
A gardener that’s a world traveler.
A trash collector but a ski-bum.
A taxi driver but passionate surfer.
You have to build a lifestyle. A life style is not what you do for a living, but what you have passion for in your life. Now, if you don’t have passion in your life go get something that you have passion for.
You must be aware of what drives your life. Why do you do the things that you do?
Know why you do the things that you do. These are great things to convey to a women or she will just know that from the way that you are.
Now, don’t think about why you want to get laid or why you love to eat MacDonald’s Big Mac or why you drink a case of beer with your buddies on the weekend during football season.
No, that’s not what I’m talking about. Again, what drives your love of surfing, writing, skiing, flying, or “you fill in the blank.”
Women, loves guys that live life to the fullest. You need to find what drives you and follow that passion. You should try to do that without the thought of getting girls, though.
By following your passion in your life and making no apologies to anyone why you are passionate about it, you will have a trajectory that will naturally attract women.
By the way: Your passion should never be swayed by any women, ever.
Trust me on this one: a woman can’t stand a guy that makes her the center of his world. Read that again if you don’t understand it. Read it 10 times if you have to.
If you don’t make you the center of your world, you will be sorry. It’s kinda like this:
“If you don’t believe in yourself and your life, who will.”
Make your life interesting and passionate and the girls will follow . . . by default!
If your life is boring and mundane, change it. Remember, to people in general, happiness is really excitement in life. Ponder that for a while, and then model your life on your exciting passion.
Find Your “Passion” Generator
It’s really weird to think about why you are passionate about the things that you do. You’ve probably never thought about it. I’m sure that it must have swum by your head when I was talking about it in this section.
Here is a passion generator to help you “tease out” the reasons you have passion for whatever you do. Convey this in conversation with your target when you are trying to make a connection with her.
Get out a piece of paper and write these out. Give yourself space.
The Topic You Are Passionate About: ________________.
1. I feel ___________________________.
2. I feel proud because _________________.
3. It gives me satisfaction because _______________________________.
4. It makes me feel _______ emotion
5. I feel a sense of __________.
Try to get at the underlying feelings you have about something you’re passionate about. It’s not just that you are a democrat or a republican, but the feelings that lie under your ideas AND judgments, that are uniquely you about the topic.
Sometimes, it takes a raw type of courage to convey this to a woman you just met, but if you tease out the feelings about something that’s distinctly you, she will be attracted to that honesty that is you.
You see, most guys can’t be this way to girls because they are afraid that the woman won’t like them in the “raw.” They are afraid that the woman won’t like them and it’s really the only thing they have.
But I’m here to tell you that she will admire you for your honesty here. This is what women want from men, and what they mean when they say just “be yourself.” What they are really saying is, “be honest with me about who you are.”
As long as you have the confidence to convey who you are, you can talk about any topic you have a passion for. You can talk about Dungeon and Dragons as long as you communicate the emotions you feel when you play the game in contrast to the 25 hit points of damage you sustained against a 9th level lich.
Now when you figure out what you are passionate about, go do what it is. Live your life through your passion and it will show through in your life. Women will sense it in the way that you are.
So, if you always wanted to surf for example: surf! If you always wanted to get write a novel about your travels: travel and write! Duh!
Too many guys dream about what they want to do, but never do it. They live “lives of quite desperation.”
Men, and people in general “settle” because it’s comfortable. Then, they live a boring life. They then become boring. Yuck. Don’t do that. Take action. I’m talking massive action. Be who you are though your passion and live it!
So, create a cool life-style for yourself or at least understand what drives you so that you can show and talk to a woman on what drives you.
–Kurgan
My Own Passion That Draws Women Into My Life In Less Than 10 Minutes!
Now, I’m a teacher. Teachers were not known for pushing the “excitement” envelope if you know what I mean.
Like when I started to get really good with women, I would only talk about how passionate about teaching I was, not by the technical parts of teaching.
Like I told them a story about a teacher that really influenced me in high school that guided me towards college. Then, I would transfer that “feeling” towards inspiring my students to do the same. So, rather than talking about adolescent behavior modification in the student’s IEP, I am talking about what drives me to be the best teacher i can be. Do, you see the difference.
So, this applies if you are a lawyer or doctor or car mechanic. Don’t talk so much about the teachnical “shop talk” when you first meet a women or are on a “date.” Rather, talk about what you do that makes you “feel” the passionate side of what you do that makes up your life. That’s the ticket!
Get it! Women can relate to your passion because women are more in touch with their emotions rather than their logical minds.
So, as a teacher of history (with summers off), I was passionate about European history and culture. But, it took me over 2 years before I finally went to Paris. I mulled over tickets on the internet for years before I finally worked up the nerve to go.
After that, over the years, I went to Berlin, Amsterdam, Prague, Krakow, Budapest, Barcelona, and London just to name a few.
So, after the first trip to Paris, it just all flowed; but, it took me over 2 years before I had the courage to go on my own.
The point here is that my passion for traveling—I had to make it “happen.” So, you can see that you have to take massive action in order for you to live your life through you passion whatever that may be.
You can see that my profession is my passion and that my passion is my profession. Teaching about European history and traveling to Europe are wonderfully in synch.
I have now made it into my life-style of traveling. Do you see how I did it.
Now, when I started to date the women that I would eventually married, she found out that I traveled the world in the summers and I never really said anything about it, but she told me latter that that was a big element about who I was that she was attracted to.
Now, for me, creating that lifestyle took effort. A lot of effort and time, but I pursued a life that I wanted. Women are attracted to that. So, you need to do it. Not just for attracting women, but for yourself!
–Kurgan
How To Wake Up That Attractive Man In You!
The sad and ironic thing is that these very thoughts are the reason they are not getting success with women. When you sit there at night thinking about all the perceived faults that you have is building on a negative mental momentum that creates mental “states” that will kill your game or it will just show women that you lack confidence.
Look, women know if you don’t like yourself. They have super radar that can sense this from a mile away. It’s the one thing that will repel women like no other.
And, yes, not believing in you is not liking yourself. It shows a lack of confidence and is extremely “unmanly.” That’s why in the previous post, I invited you to explore your beliefs about yourself as it pertains to women.
I taught a student who was absolutely afraid of women. Put it this way: he paid a lot of money to have my friends and I to teach him how to get good with women, but when we were going to take him out into the social milieu to show him how, he “chickened out” and never showed up.
Well, after working with this student, and especially about his beliefs about himself, he now has a lot of women in his life.
But, he used to tell me how he would stay up at night thinking about how bad he was with women. It was those thoughts that were making him bad with women.
All the men who are reading this, I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. You are 100% OK. Isn’t that cool. I don’t care if you are 5’2 or 7’, bald, poor, rich, “ugly,” Asian, Black, White, or Green. A woman is looking for a guy that is handsome on the inside and the basis of that are on you beliefs about everything.
I think that every guy out there is a decent human being that any women would go crazy for.
The problem is how most guys convey that to women. The com across inauthentic on many different levels. The become who they are not because most men have the fear that a women will reject them for who they are—it’s the only thing they have. Think about it.
Who we are as men, everything that is us is all that we really have. It takes a raw courage to talk about yourself with confidence “warts” and all. Do you get what I am saying here?
The double irony is that if you communicate to women who you really are, faults and all, but that it made you a better person for it or that you learned something from it, the women will relate you and actually see you as a human being.
Now, think about it. When you meet a person for the first time, the person never existed in your world before right. Well, think about when you go to a club or bar. All the people there are not really real to you because you don’t know them. You are not invested in them.
But if you see a friend there or someone you met before, you have an instant affinity or state change. Well, that’s the investment I am talking about. And in order to create that, you have to make connections with a woman that is authentic. And the only way you can do that is to have confidence in who you are and the ability to believe in yourself.
That’s why it’s so important to believe in yourself in everything that you do. You are already good enough.
–Kurgan
You Can Laugh Away Problems Attracting Women If You Follow This Simple Plan
What that means on a practical level is what are your likes and what are your dislikes. What are you going to tolerate from a women that you just meet. I know you know what I mean.
Have you ever walked up to an attractive women in a bar or club and tried to have a conversation with a woman and she says, “Why are you talking to me,” or I love this: “I already have a boyfriend.” Haha. I love when they say this to me. I always reply, Thank god, I thought you were hitting on me.” Or “ You are such a knucklehead. Is she always like that.”
But, I’m digressing here. If you like yourself, you wouldn’t tolerate that behavior from anyone right? From a friend or a family member. Well, you shouldn’t from a women either you don’t even know. Now, in the example I gave you above, when a women gives me attitude I am actually happy because I know that she is attracted to me and she is just giving me “fake” attitude to see what I’m made out of. But you understand what I mean right.
I think that a lot guys don’t even know themselves that much and because of that, they let women walk all over them. Women want a strong man that won’t take their bullshit. I am telling you that right now. They will socially castrate you if you show any weakness to them. But I will talk about all of this in greater details later in this blog.
Anyway, not “knowing yourself” is really bad, because having women in your life is not about looks, money, having a good body, or a full head of hair and so on. Rather it’s knowing who you are and accepting yourself and having confidence.
A woman will fall in love with you if you show her your soul to her with masculine courage.
What this really means is that having a loving relationship with women or attracting them in general is really about the relationship you have with yourself!
I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. Haven’t you ever seen an ugly guy with a supper hot woman before? I bet you thought that the guy probably had a lot of money or a big you-know-what. Well, the reason is that the guy was confident enough by believing in himself enough to show her who he really is. And, the only way you can really really do that is to know and accept yourself. It’s true.
In other words, to attract women is to know and believe in yourself.
Meet yourself and accept yourself: If you do this one thing, you will have women falling all over you. I don’t care what you look like or how old you are or how short or poor you are. Just look at Shrek or Cyrano de Bergerac. Remember, We as men: our attractiveness comes from the inside out!
A lot of guys have so many bad beliefs about themselves that they really don’t like themselves. It’s sad but true. They believe that because they don’t like themselves they don’t “deserve to be loved.” If you believe that then you will never find a woman of quality.
You have to be authentic not only to the women you are interested in, but also to yourself. You have to be able not to “hide” who you really are.
When you talk to a women you like, you have to act like you’ve been really good friends and that you’ve know each other for 10 years. That’s confidence. When you talk to your friends, you don’t hide things do you? That’s why they are your friends because they know and understand you because you know that it’s ok to talk to your friends about “things” and they won’t pre-judge you.
That type of honesty is required to attract women into your life.
The lack of belief in yourself I strongly believe comes from self-loathing. Self-criticism is the plague of mankind. You must shut this type of thinking down.
Now, when I talk about this self-critisism and self-loathing, it manifests itself in the form of that self-talk that you have going on all of your waking conscious time. It’s that “little” voice in the back of your head. You know what I mean. It’s like a brutal Judge out there that tells you all of those bad things about you.
You need to stop making that negative and get it to a positive domain. Remembr I said that you go though 50 to 50 thousand thoughts a day? Can you imagine 50 to 60 thousand negative thoughts per day? Well that’s what I am talking about.
What you need to see is that you are only human and that much of our critisism about ourselves comes from an unrealistic image of that has been implanted in us as we were growing up.
Someone of authority told use these things and now we believe them.
The incredibly liberating fact is that every human being on this planet has all of those same insecurities as you do. In other words, everyone in the world has this self hate to some degree or another.
Look, it is not the elements that we may hate about ourselves that make us feel unattractive: rather, it is our own self-created criticism of who we are that creates the mental states of selfloathing.
When we realize that we are only human and that we are not weird or “dorky,” and these traits, every human being has them, only then will we realize that we are no different than anyone else in the world.
In fact, this is true of everone we have ever met. And if you start to see this, you will start to understand why certain people appeal to us.
Think about super heroes. Superman is too perfect right? Who cares about a guy who is indestructible. Well, what humanizes him is “Krytonite,” which makes him human and vulnerable.
Spiderman is a more extreme case than Superman: A nerd in high school, science geek, with a ton of girl problems. Get it?
That’s why it’s so important to accept yourself 100% in your mind. And to also believe that you are awesome with women and relationships.
The Buddha once said this: “You are what you think.” Your mental thoughts manifest itself in the physical world.
Therefore, do yourself a huge favor and accept and believe in yourself from now on. I know it can be hard at times, and there will be times when you won’t even know that you are criticising yourself, but with enough practice you can. I did.
–Kurgan
Look At Gloria Steinem, The Feminist, Who Married The Father Of Actor Christain Bale
All women respond more robotically than you are aware of to male behavior. It is genetically hardwired in the brain of most men and women.
Having said that, most men’s mating strategy is to supplicate to a woman only because he wants to “get into her pants” from the beginning. Men try to use this covert approach of “pleasing a woman” by giving her what he thinks she wants or complying to the “woman’s whim.”
It’s like a loser guy at the bar thinking that buying a girl a drink and giving them compliments believing that that will get them laid. Or like a rich guy who thinks that an expensive car and a show of money will get the girl.
Woman will hit the road even if you’re good hiding the fact that you are not confident. Women are really good at reading guys. There are also women who will take advantage of the weak rich guy or the “nice guy” in general. The most painful to watch is the weak nice guy. Women will treat this guy like shit and use him.
Now here’s the “rub”: a woman who does treat a weak man can’t help it. To take advantage of a weak guy is programmed into a women. She can’t help it. While increasingly loathing the guy for his lack of spine bone, women, almost any women out there will become increasingly cruel to the weak nice guy. It’s really sad.
Anyway, what I am saying in the previous entry here is that behaving like a supplicant is not what it means to be a real man. I don’t care if you are a strong woman that is dominant or a woman who is more docile. Every woman in the world likes a man who displays masculine traits and a man that never cow tows to a woman’s sometimes crazy behavior and demands.
Most men who are wimpy girlie men have the potential to be a man’s man, but it is merely a flaw in their thinking, thus their mating strategy.
All women have a supplicating nature in that they want their male mates to be dominant in specific roles. Look at Gloria Steinem, the feminist, who married the father of actor Christain Bale. First, she caved in and got married to an institution that she was sharply against: marriage. Then, she waited hand over foot over him when she was married to him.
There are some roles that can’t be changed by social convention because they are biological in nature. For a man, to have masculine strength is critical to attract any type of women period.
–Kurgan
Dominant Communication
When I mean mating strategies, I mean man woman relationships: romantic in nature that eventually leads to—duh—babies.
I know, because I spent years in the academic milieu. But, I am digressing.
Anyway, because this form of dominant communication is so subtle, it forms, other than building your beliefs, the key element in creating attraction in women. Now, what fuels this form of dominance are your beliefs. Take a very important note of that. There is an interpenetration between the two in an almost organic way.
Not that many people in the world know about this: it’s like an incredible secret that the world is oblivious to. It is no less than the war of “meaning.” Don’t worry I will explain in the following posts.
The interesting thing is that 99% of women intuitively know what it is. They feel it but they can’t logic it like I am going to do for you.
It’s a form of control that is invisible and if you don’t know that it exist, than you are done. It will be very difficult to attract or date or hold a relationship, period in this regard.
The interesting thing is that there are a good majority of people who intuitively know about this, but again, they haven’t analyzed it logically so as to tactically subvert it to one’s own advantage. How can you fight something you don’t know?
It’s like the human mind has two ways of understanding: the conscious and the unconscious. The unconscious is when a woman or anyone for that matter says, behaves, or does something that is not explicitly said, but the message was “felt.” It’s like a form of communication that is nonverbal in nature. In other words, it’s like talking through emotions.
Hasn’t a woman you were trying to make a sexual overture to acted in a way that “blew you off” but she didn’t say a word? Well that’s what I am talking about.
The conscious way is to understand this invisible way of dominant communication and to use your logical mind to commander the meaning of the communication, flip it, and twist the meaning to you advantage.
That’s what you will have to do. It is a form of dominance that has to do with the meaning of what you are communicating to other people. The awareness of this is the first step, and that will be talked about in the next entry.
–Kurgan
A Man Should Be In Control Of EVERYTHING
I’ve been a bit truant here because I just bought a house by the beach. Cool.
I got a letter from one of my readers and here it is. I am going to answer his question:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for your articles. I think they are quite informative.
There are just a few things that are not clear to me:
You say “dominant communication is a form of control that is invisible, and women sense it”.
I miss the practical applicability of this sentence.
What should a man be in control of?
I am sure you do not mean that a man is “controlling”, because as I see it, that is a sign of insecurity and inflexibility.
What “state of being” (eg: sensual, sexual) should a man have in regard to women, for women to sense this dominant communication?
After deciding he wants to be perceived by women in this way, what should a man Do, to get to Have this effect on women and for them to feel he is masculine and dominant.
Thanks again for writing your articles.
I am looking forward to your reply,
Kind Regards,
M
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s my reply:
A man should be in control of EVERYTHING.
Now, when I say “control,” I don’t mean a “control freak:” someone who wants to control things because they are insecure. What I am talking about is different. It’s mostly internal: I would say that it’s a way of thinking—not just of yourself, but how you view the world.
If you date a woman, you should show all of the following at all times: leading, always get something for what she wants, being a man and treating her like a woman, telling her what to do, you making the big decisions, and guiding the whole sexual component of the relationship.
In a way, it’s kind of like what you want to be like if you could get away with anything. In other words, how would you behave on a first date if you were so comfortable with her, it was like hanging out with someone that was your best friend. You would say and behave the way you want, without caring about the consequences. Think about it.
Moreover, it’s like when you see a movie and you thought it was good or bad or like when you have an opinion on something; you will have a thought in your head and have an opinion on something and that though would be 100% you.
That thought, a piece of who you are, if you communicate that to your date, even though you know that she will disagree with you, is a sample of what I am saying about being dominant. (By the way, if you are honest with her about who you are, even if it’s the opposite of her, she will fall for you.)
I guess it’s like not giving a shit what other people think about you, and what you want out of life, and that you are honest with yourself and the world. Now, that’s being a man! Most men can’t do this. It’s tragic.
When you meet a woman for the first time, you have to let them know that you are a sexual man that finds her sexually attractive. You have to do that right away. You shouldn’t have to qualify yourself or anything. You are just being honest aren’t you? You are a man: she is a women. No complicate systems needed here.
Most men pretend to be nice on a date because they are afraid that the women won’t like them: the real them. I mean think about this: if she rejects you for who you are, it’s the only thing you really have; and if she rejects you, you will have nothing left. That’s scary to most men . . . most people, but it is a childish way not to face your fears.
You have to “man up” and face it despite your fear. The best way to overcome this fear is to face it head on and just think “courage.” Courage is mostly known as a “man” thing (Yes there are courageous women out there, but for the sake of what I am saying here.). Be a man and be manly, dominant, and lead the women.
This is an amazing concept: The more stereotypically masculine you are the more feminine type of women you will attract. It is what I call Kurgan’s Law. Just think about it.
But, getting back to my main point, most men in this world are not honest to women because of this fear. It’s like if you were physically naked in front of a hot babe that you got a date with and she rejects you physically. That’s fuck’en painful right. But for me, let’s say a woman doesn’t like my body: I wouldn’t give a shit.
Like guys have a fear of sex for the first time because of all of this anxiety. If the sex wasn’t great the first time, and she says it to you, just tell her, “that she needs to work harder next time.” Who cares what she thinks. The funny thing is that she will actually like you more for it. That’s what I mean by dominance and masculine strength.
One of the biggest turn ons in a woman is that your own life has more value to YOU than hers. That’s the ticket. You have to put yourself first. A woman will never respect you if you put her life in front of yours. That’s what I am trying to talk about here. Be a man.
It’s like Indiana Jones In Raiders of the Lost Ark: Indiana always put his life before the women. He was the adventure, not Marion, Willie Scott, or Dr. Elsa Scheider. Indiana always had what every it was that he was chasing.
You have to be that way.
–Kurgan
Masculine Dominance
I am going to be blunt and to the point. In order for you to handle women you are going to have to be what I call “Masculinely Dominant.” Masculine dominance is like a man's inherited characteristic as a male, and because of that, women will behave naturally to this.
I’m starting to think that the key element to dating theory is a man's so-called masculine dominance: it's leading a woman and being a man about it. You know, we can call techniques in picking up a woman many things: frame control, keno or touching a woman, qualifying them, what I call "naughty banter", leading, you making the decisions in things, and all that; but I now believe masculine dominance is the underlying element to all parts of dating and pick up.
I mean, keno is like leading to me. If you don’t touch a woman right away, it’s like a passive DLV, showing the girl that you cannot lead and that you are not confident. If you don't have the "balls" to start touching, she will think that you are not into her and thus she will lose interest. Touching is part of leading and that to me is about confidence and that is innergame stuff which has to do with being a man.
This is such an important factor in attracting women and more importantly, holding a relationship after the initial dating phase. But, I can’t tell you how many guys I try to explain this to and it’s hard for them to fathom.
But it is really simple to understand once you know it. I can only hope that the men who are reading this blog will fully understand what I mean in this post.
I know when I started to learn about this stuff, I was clueless . . . even hostile to it because I thought it was demeaning to women. It's basically like being an asshole to women. But, the reality is, the more masculine you are, the more feminine a women you will attract. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true.
It all goes back to human evolution. A woman wants a man to protect her, to lead her, to tell her what to do. If you want to get a full appreciation of this, just watch a couple episodes of Man vs. Wild. (By the way, I have a lot of hot girlfriends that think Bear Grylls is super sexy even though he eats dead sheep eyeballs and stuff like that. ) Masculine strength awakens that primal side of women.
If you think I’m full of shit, just go up to a random women and ask her if she likes it when a man she is interested in doesn’t know where to take her for dinner on the first date. You know, when she asks you, “Where do you want to eat?” And you reply, "I don’t know, where do you want to eat?” That's the opposite of masculine dominance. It's just not physical strength, but psychological in its manifestations.
If you say and behave like that, she will lose interest super fast. Women aren’t attracted to men who are indecisive and weak, neuter and indecisive sexually, the opposite of what I'm talking about. The problem with men today and the reason for wimpy men is that there never was a manual on how to be a man.
Men were way more masculine 2 generations ago. If you don’t believe me, ask your grandfather if he’s still alive. Men are such wimps today.
I would much rather have you act like an “asshole” than a “nice guy.” A woman is way more attracted to an “asshole” than a “nice guy” because the asshole has something other than the girl in his life. The nice guy will become “creepy-stocker-that-never-had-sex-before” guy, which women loath. Don’t be the nice guy.
So, let's look at the elements that I call masculine dominance:
1. Having stronger beliefs than her [Making her chase you, Having the ability to “walk away.”]
- You are the prize
- Your life is more important than hers
- "What's in it for me" attitude
- I'm more important than her
2. Leading
- Keno escalation or touching
- Telling her what to do rather than asking
- You plan things to do that is on your terms
- Taking the role of being the man: open the door for her, being her protector, ect.
- humor and teasing--it shows dominance
3. Being a sexual man
- you make no apologies about your sexual desire as a man
- You understand that women have desire that are even greater than yours and you never judge her for them because it is
If you show these traits to a woman, you will attract her. Indeed, you will be able to attract her, but, more importantly, you will be able to sustain the relationship as well.
99% of women hate men that act psychologically like women. Think about the opposite of the list I made:
1.Having weaker beliefs than the women
2.Having the women lead
3.Being an asexual man and having her tell you what to do
We call a man that has those traits “pansies,” girly- man, wimp, chump, or chode. Think about it.
If you don’t believe me, just observe girls. What do they want to be “when they grow up?” A Princess.
Think about the feminine mind here for a minute. Girls are always playing with doll when they are growing up.
Some feminist nuts will say that that is a “learnt” behavior that was taught to them and is not biological. But that is utter bullshit. I want those feminists to watch Man Vs. Wild or Survival Man. No, better yet, let's put those women in the middle of the wilderness and see what happens . . .haha! There is no way that a woman can do what they do.
Look, I am a social scientist and I am here to tell you that men and women, while having both equal value as human beings are not equal, gender wise. You need to understand that when it comes to attracting women and maintaining a relationship with them.
Think about this important point: By contrast, boys want to be super heroes when they “grow up.”
Spiderman, Superman, Batman: these are all masculine archetypes. They represent masculine energy and are the basis for the masculine mindset.
For women it’s Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. They are all waiting for “Prince Charming!” You have to be like prince charming, and to be him, you must show dominance. (No, I’m not talking about hitting women or showing them violence. I’m talking psychological dominance.)
–Kurgan
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Madonna 80s Video And Alpha Behavior
Go to youtube and type in “Madonna Borderline video;” There was something about this music video that made me understand on an emotional level what made man/woman relationships work. But, alas, emotional understanding versus logical understanding is that gulf that makes or breaks us as men: that’s why not so intellectual men always get the girls over super smart guys that are by contrast, socially retarded. Fuck that shit; not anymore!
Onwards.
So, the guy in Borderline video (1984) made his love of the pool and hanging with his guy friends more important than Madonna. Now, that’s what makes loving yourself so important and this video the key to having women love you forever, no matter your looks, height, head of hair, or floppy ears! It is all about the love that you have for yourself .
Your Relationship With Women Is Not About The Relationship With Her, But The Relationship You Have With Yourself!
So, the key here is something I have always said about attracting hot women: The relationship and attractive qualities you have is not reliant on looks, money, or even social status (being a celebrity)—rather, it is the relationship first and foremost to yourself and comes from within you!
How much simpler can I make this for you!
So, watch this Madonna video and see if I’m full of shit! It’s FREE right!
• Super hottie 27 year-old Madonna who is in love with a kinda loser ethnic guy.
• She gets a gig as model. {Now this is the peak of Madonna's beauty!}. If you really think about it, she is almost too old by today's standard for shit like this, but, hey . . . this is Madonna. Fair enough. She’s still hot, like super hot.
• She wants the guy to think she has high value as a newly minded model.
• She wiggles her butt and does all kinds of "girl" tricks to get this guy to think she's the “shit.”
• But this guy is the best! He doesn't flinch--at least to the social group. If he did, she would have left.
• He leaves with his buddies (most unattractive dorks would think he's crazy. They would kiss her ass. And then, she would have run for the hills!)
• There is even an implied affair with Paul McCarthy look-alike-guy. She doesn't love him, but ethic-guy is stronger.
• Ethnic-guy believes his life is more important than Madonna, the model, and he is willing to walk away.
• This kills Madonna. She is loving him all the more for not falling into a classic female trap.
• If he gave in to his insecurities, he would have gotten "kicked-to-the-curve."
• I know this guy is good looking, but he could have been ugly as shit, but if the ugly-guy would have done the same thing as the good looking guy in the Madonna video, he would have been to her as good looking.
• That's why for guys looks doesn't matter!!!!!
• Ethnic-guy is steadfast as Madonna realizes that a man who believes that she is not the main goal of a man is a man worthy of growing love, and falls in love him even more.
• She pines.
• He is found playing pool. His “shit” doesn't stink.
• But, Madonna comes with her entourage, and then, in the-heat-of-the-night, ethnic-guy finally reveals his love for her on a level that she respects.
• (Any AFC behavior would have been fatal for ethnic-guy; but, he knew this, he was more important than her and that is the key to LOVE!)
So, the point of this post is to make you understand this:
Your Relationship With Women Is Not About The Relationship With Her, But The Relationship You Have With Yourself!
--Kurgan
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Mark Nason Boots

Shoes are huge here. Here’s the deal: girls are totally into shoes big time. They spend hours buying shoes. They obsess over shoes like guys obsess over sports statistics.
You have to understand this. So, when girls look at a guy for the first time, one of the first things that they look at is the guy’s shoes.
The shoes you wear say something about you and your life-style. Understand that fashion as a form of “social code.” It tells people, especially women, if you are socially intelligent. Now, remember, if you are socially intelligent, you are more prone to be successful with making alliances with other people: and that means access to resources that will help you survive—and in her case, if she aligns herself to you, her too. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true.
You know, the other day I was watching “Man vs. Wild” and it’s about a guy who is thrown into the wild with no tools or anything and he has to try to survive. It’s a crazy reality show but it’s so cool. But if you watch it, you will be struck how hard our ancestors had it back in the day.
Well, I know we have grocery stores and such, but this type of survival thinking is still ingrained in us.
If you are having trouble wrapping your mind around this then just replace survival to status.
Why are we so obsessed with celebrity gossip? Well, it’s because these people have status, and status means access to resources. And, when I mean resources, I mean in today’s term: money and power.
Anyway, back to shoes!
Think about this: if you’re going to buy cool clothes, it’s going to cost money. I’ve spent $140 dollar on one shirt before (Don’t worry, you don’t have to if you go to the outlet stores) and $300 for a pair of jeans. When all is said and done, that’s a lot of “dough” for fashion right? So the top and pants looks cool. Well I have killer shoes that I got on sale for $300. Now, that’s a killer outfit. Well, if I put on cheap shoes but the outfit was “money” I would be screwed because the shoes are one of the first things that a women will focus on.
So, this is where guys totally mess up: they have a cool outfit, but because they spent a lot of money on the shirt and jeans, they don’t want to spend a lot on shoes.
So, they wear some cheap pair and it totally messes up the outfit. Well, guess who notices this right away? The girls you are trying to game. That’s why it’s so easy to make a judgment about a guy though his shoes. It says this–again: “you are socially retarded.” And, that means you have less of a chance for “survival” in the big bad world because you have no social intelligence and you can’t make social relations with other people.
They will make this assessment in less than a second.
So, for you, you have to take advantage of this by getting some cool shoes. The shoes I really like are a brand called Mark Nason and New Rocks. But, again, you have to find cool ones that fit your life-style. Just don’t wear Dockers, a polo shirt and penny-loafers and think as a mature man, you are going to take home a girl 21 years old from a popular club.
–Kurgan
True Religion Jeans

I have a really good friend who is simply amazing with girls. He gets together with 4 to 8 girls a month from waking up to them, gaming them, then, taking them home and having sex with them. It’s pretty amazing. Now, I can do that too, but it takes me more tries than him and I have to work harder, but it can be done: if you continue t read this blog, I will reveal the secrets.
But the one thing about my friend is that he is a fashion “whore” just like I am. You should too.
We’ve spent countless hours talking about how fashion and style are so crucial for getting a women into your life. It’s just huge. Now, remember that I am teaching you here first to getting a woman attracted to you enough to go on dates with you, then, having a relationship with this women and actually keeping them, and having control of the direction of this relationship so you won’t have HER controlling the relationship. But remember: you have to attract women to you first! That’s why I am spending so much time explaining fashion and style to you.
The pick up lines and stuff will come later. First, you have to look presentable here.
Anyways: onwards.
My friend who’s a master with picking up women always wears True Religion Jeans with a cool T-shirt and New Rocks shoes. It’s a really really cool look. That’s the look I go for as well.
So, I have over 12 pairs of True Religion. I live in LA. However, near Palms Springs, they have a True Religion outlet store. That’s where I get mine. Again, you can pick them up for $89 instead of $300 retail. Find a place that sells them for cheap.
If you don’t have an outlet store near you, try ebay. I teach a lot of guys on how to get good with women, and they always say that they don’t have the money. Well, when there’s a will, there’s a way. Go to ebay and buy them for supper cheap. A lot of my students get them on ebay and they are awesome stuff which are pennies on the dollar:–no excuses!
I’ve coached tons of millionaire guys who are in their mid 20s and 30s and they dress like they are 55 years old. Don’t do that. Gross. Having said that, don’t try to look and act like your 21 either if your over 50. Find your style. You can do it. Again, if you’re not sure, email a pic of your best outfit and I will give you a free consult. My email again is kurganpua@gmail.com.
–Kurgan