Here’s a hard concept that 99% of guys just don’t understand. The more you put yourself above the girl, the more she will be attracted to you. This is one of the primary reasons that “assholes” are able to get girls and that “nice guys” don’t. The more you put yourself above the woman you want to date, the more she will want to be with you.
Now, here’s the secret: no matter how beautiful she is, the more you should not care whether you get together with her or not; if you can do this, she will be yours. This mental state should be in place when you go on a “date” too.
It’s like if you went to a club and you opened 3 groups of women and all three times, they told you to “get lost!” If you went home that night and didn’t care about it, you’re the guy that will eventually get a girl to come home. If you went home and thought you were a loser, than that’s the very thing that all women don’t find attractive about you.
It’s a weird thing in life, but so profound: The more you care about you, the more people will notice and like you. Now, I’m not saying that you should be delusional: no. But, if you love yourself enough, to the point where you really do care about you, and you show this in your actions and behaviors around women, they will notice and be attracted to you.
So, here are a couple of things: If you don’t like yourself enough, who will? Moreover, this brings about such an important element to attracting women: The relationship you have with a woman is not really a relationship with her—rather, it is ultimately the relationship you have with yourself, first and foremost.
So, a lot of my students always ask me “how do I get this?”
Well, the simple thing to do is what I always say to do: Meet yourself! Introduce you to you!
How do you do this? Well here are some simple steps to take, so that you can make you more important:
1. Write a list of 20 things that you like to do and what is important to you. Anything. Examples are these: traveling, meeting new people, baseball, chess, literature, family, and so on.
2. Now, give a reason why you like each thing. Remember to go back in your life and explain the first time and so on.
a. Example: I love to travel because I want adventure and excitement. My mother always said to travel and meet new people. I want to meet new women in my travels because I saw a movie about travel when I was 13 years old.
3. What you are doing is creating your preferences, which will give your personality dimension. The more you learn about who you are, the easier it is to build your lifestyle.
4. Lifestyle: based on what you wrote about your preferences, start building you life around that list. 99% of guys have boring lives. A woman will not be into a life where you drink and play poker every week with your buddies. Create an exciting life based on the passions you have for things in your life. If you focus and make the things you are into a priority by taking action, they become will become extremely important to you, and help define who you are. Meeting yourself if you will. So much so, your life will become more important that any new woman you meet.
5. A boring life for a guy translates into desperation. In that case, a woman becomes an antidote for the boring life. That’s when guys become too outcome dependant or needy on a date or meeting women at a club, party or bar. Make your life more exciting than just one woman!
6. If you don’t have an exciting life that a woman would want to share in—do something about it and take action! Make an exciting life and have a lifestyle!
7. And if you make your list and go for it, you will be well on your way.
--Kurgan
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