To be good with women is really only a matter of believing you are good. That is the most important factor to understand. Now, I know a lot of guys are going to say that they are not a “people person” or that they lack social grace, or I am not the right skin color or right height to have women attractive to me.
The sad and ironic thing is that these very thoughts are the reason they are not getting success with women. When you sit there at night thinking about all the perceived faults that you have is building on a negative mental momentum that creates mental “states” that will kill your game or it will just show women that you lack confidence.
Look, women know if you don’t like yourself. They have super radar that can sense this from a mile away. It’s the one thing that will repel women like no other.
And, yes, not believing in you is not liking yourself. It shows a lack of confidence and is extremely “unmanly.” That’s why in the previous post, I invited you to explore your beliefs about yourself as it pertains to women.
I taught a student who was absolutely afraid of women. Put it this way: he paid a lot of money to have my friends and I to teach him how to get good with women, but when we were going to take him out into the social milieu to show him how, he “chickened out” and never showed up.
Well, after working with this student, and especially about his beliefs about himself, he now has a lot of women in his life.
But, he used to tell me how he would stay up at night thinking about how bad he was with women. It was those thoughts that were making him bad with women.
All the men who are reading this, I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. You are 100% OK. Isn’t that cool. I don’t care if you are 5’2 or 7’, bald, poor, rich, “ugly,” Asian, Black, White, or Green. A woman is looking for a guy that is handsome on the inside and the basis of that are on you beliefs about everything.
I think that every guy out there is a decent human being that any women would go crazy for.
The problem is how most guys convey that to women. The com across inauthentic on many different levels. The become who they are not because most men have the fear that a women will reject them for who they are—it’s the only thing they have. Think about it.
Who we are as men, everything that is us is all that we really have. It takes a raw courage to talk about yourself with confidence “warts” and all. Do you get what I am saying here?
The double irony is that if you communicate to women who you really are, faults and all, but that it made you a better person for it or that you learned something from it, the women will relate you and actually see you as a human being.
Now, think about it. When you meet a person for the first time, the person never existed in your world before right. Well, think about when you go to a club or bar. All the people there are not really real to you because you don’t know them. You are not invested in them.
But if you see a friend there or someone you met before, you have an instant affinity or state change. Well, that’s the investment I am talking about. And in order to create that, you have to make connections with a woman that is authentic. And the only way you can do that is to have confidence in who you are and the ability to believe in yourself.
That’s why it’s so important to believe in yourself in everything that you do. You are already good enough.
–Kurgan
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