Your beliefs about who you are and how you view yourself are the single most important elements in securing a girlfriend or a happy marriage. I’ve always asked my students this one important question: “have you ever met yourself?”
What that means on a practical level is what are your likes and what are your dislikes. What are you going to tolerate from a women that you just meet. I know you know what I mean.
Have you ever walked up to an attractive women in a bar or club and tried to have a conversation with a woman and she says, “Why are you talking to me,” or I love this: “I already have a boyfriend.” Haha. I love when they say this to me. I always reply, Thank god, I thought you were hitting on me.” Or “ You are such a knucklehead. Is she always like that.”
But, I’m digressing here. If you like yourself, you wouldn’t tolerate that behavior from anyone right? From a friend or a family member. Well, you shouldn’t from a women either you don’t even know. Now, in the example I gave you above, when a women gives me attitude I am actually happy because I know that she is attracted to me and she is just giving me “fake” attitude to see what I’m made out of. But you understand what I mean right.
I think that a lot guys don’t even know themselves that much and because of that, they let women walk all over them. Women want a strong man that won’t take their bullshit. I am telling you that right now. They will socially castrate you if you show any weakness to them. But I will talk about all of this in greater details later in this blog.
Anyway, not “knowing yourself” is really bad, because having women in your life is not about looks, money, having a good body, or a full head of hair and so on. Rather it’s knowing who you are and accepting yourself and having confidence.
A woman will fall in love with you if you show her your soul to her with masculine courage.
What this really means is that having a loving relationship with women or attracting them in general is really about the relationship you have with yourself!
I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. Haven’t you ever seen an ugly guy with a supper hot woman before? I bet you thought that the guy probably had a lot of money or a big you-know-what. Well, the reason is that the guy was confident enough by believing in himself enough to show her who he really is. And, the only way you can really really do that is to know and accept yourself. It’s true.
In other words, to attract women is to know and believe in yourself.
Meet yourself and accept yourself: If you do this one thing, you will have women falling all over you. I don’t care what you look like or how old you are or how short or poor you are. Just look at Shrek or Cyrano de Bergerac. Remember, We as men: our attractiveness comes from the inside out!
A lot of guys have so many bad beliefs about themselves that they really don’t like themselves. It’s sad but true. They believe that because they don’t like themselves they don’t “deserve to be loved.” If you believe that then you will never find a woman of quality.
You have to be authentic not only to the women you are interested in, but also to yourself. You have to be able not to “hide” who you really are.
When you talk to a women you like, you have to act like you’ve been really good friends and that you’ve know each other for 10 years. That’s confidence. When you talk to your friends, you don’t hide things do you? That’s why they are your friends because they know and understand you because you know that it’s ok to talk to your friends about “things” and they won’t pre-judge you.
That type of honesty is required to attract women into your life.
The lack of belief in yourself I strongly believe comes from self-loathing. Self-criticism is the plague of mankind. You must shut this type of thinking down.
Now, when I talk about this self-critisism and self-loathing, it manifests itself in the form of that self-talk that you have going on all of your waking conscious time. It’s that “little” voice in the back of your head. You know what I mean. It’s like a brutal Judge out there that tells you all of those bad things about you.
You need to stop making that negative and get it to a positive domain. Remembr I said that you go though 50 to 50 thousand thoughts a day? Can you imagine 50 to 60 thousand negative thoughts per day? Well that’s what I am talking about.
What you need to see is that you are only human and that much of our critisism about ourselves comes from an unrealistic image of that has been implanted in us as we were growing up.
Someone of authority told use these things and now we believe them.
The incredibly liberating fact is that every human being on this planet has all of those same insecurities as you do. In other words, everyone in the world has this self hate to some degree or another.
Look, it is not the elements that we may hate about ourselves that make us feel unattractive: rather, it is our own self-created criticism of who we are that creates the mental states of selfloathing.
When we realize that we are only human and that we are not weird or “dorky,” and these traits, every human being has them, only then will we realize that we are no different than anyone else in the world.
In fact, this is true of everone we have ever met. And if you start to see this, you will start to understand why certain people appeal to us.
Think about super heroes. Superman is too perfect right? Who cares about a guy who is indestructible. Well, what humanizes him is “Krytonite,” which makes him human and vulnerable.
Spiderman is a more extreme case than Superman: A nerd in high school, science geek, with a ton of girl problems. Get it?
That’s why it’s so important to accept yourself 100% in your mind. And to also believe that you are awesome with women and relationships.
The Buddha once said this: “You are what you think.” Your mental thoughts manifest itself in the physical world.
Therefore, do yourself a huge favor and accept and believe in yourself from now on. I know it can be hard at times, and there will be times when you won’t even know that you are criticising yourself, but with enough practice you can. I did.
–Kurgan
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